absoluteinvolution: real, raw & relatable.

You were supposed to be nothing more than a momentary sensation. Something to fill a space for the time being, a warm body to remind me that I can actually feel. With all that being said, I’m glad you became so much more. For once in my life, I find myself struggling to turn the emotions into words, the thoughts into paragraphs to express what is swirling around in my mind.

I can’t say I’ve ever encountered anyone like you and I’ve encountered many walks of life in my time. None remotely close to your likeness. The safety I feel in your presence, the calmness that rushes through me when our eyes meet. Whether this is just for now, or until the wheels fall off, I will take every moment as though it may be our last. The more time I spend in your orbit, the more I feel parts of me healing. If I keep these words to myself, you’ll never know the impact that you’ve already had on me. A protector, a healer, a saving grace of sorts. Always ready to lend a helping hand, always there for those you love. Your compassion and understanding for the beaten, broken and the damned is otherworldly.

I find myself perplexed by you at times. Wondering how you became the man you did when you were born into a world that was against you from Day One. Your persistence is admirable, your determination is inspiring. Infectious at times and as stubborn as I am, you push me to be a better version of myself. With all that being said, all I ask of you is patience.

“I’m healing, not healed.”

Somedays I’ll be a handful, somedays you’ll get annoyed. Somedays you’ll wonder why the hell you kept me around, but I hope you see that I’m worth the patience… I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve and no matter the hurt others have put me through, I don’t allow myself to harden up. I’m not ashamed of falling too fast, or too hard or too quickly. Life is short and spending it afraid of truly being yourself and worried that this person will hurt you is a waste. Not everyone will hurt you, some will come into your life and turn it on its head in the very best ways. They will tear you open at the seams, exposing all your hardships, only to help you work through them all.

I want to grow with you, for however long that is. I want to spend more mornings, afternoons, evenings and nights with you. Sitting by a fire, looking up at the stars, falling asleep under them with my head on your chest. I want you to keep me warm at night. Here’s to more of those times together.

-A.