absoluteinvolution: real, raw & relatable.

New relationships are always terrifying. Learning how other people handle life, emotions, upsets and everything else feels so overwhelming at times. Opening up to someone new, sharing your traumas with them, communicating your wants and needs… It’s all part of the hunt for your person. Now add in doing that in your mid 30’s… Fuck this shit isn’t easy! Yet here we are, doing it anyways. I haven’t quite decided if it’s because I’m a sucker for punishment, or if I truly do want that Ride or Die person that I can be completely and utterly be myself with. Flaws, insecurities and all. I do believe it’s the latter though..

Everyone crosses your path for a reason, most of the time it’s to completely tear you open and expose all that shadow work that needs to be done. I’m thankful for every person I’ve crossed paths with, they’ve all taught me lessons in their own ways, in their own time. I want to say some have been harder than others, but I wouldn’t consider them “bad”.

“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”

– Albus Dumbledore

I’ve lived a lot of my teen and adult years following that quote. Even when things felt like they were at an all-time low, I always attempted to find a silver lining. When I believed someone has wronged me, I always tried to see things from their perspective and try my best to understand what lead them to those choices.

I’m currently working through a lot of that with my most recent past relationship. Navigating being a single mother of 2 children under 6, being their primary caregiver, dealing with a separation, trying to regain my own financial stability… It’s a fuck of a lot for anyone to deal with, but I find peace in knowing I’ll only come out of this stronger. I’m gaining new friends, rekindling old friendships, releasing what doesn’t serve me and pouring into cups that have poured into me.

Today I finally spent time a woman who I recently met online. I needed someone to come spend time with my daughter while I did something outside. This woman, who I’d only ever spoken to online, offered her time. She offered her time because she knew what it was like to not have a village. She knew the struggles of being a single Mom, never knowing who she could depend on. She offered conversation, kindness, understanding, laughter and so much more in such a short period of time. I do truly hope she becomes a close friend, because my heart felt full today.

I know this entry is all over the place, but I did label this blog as raw, real and relatable. So here it is! The raw emotions, the reality of the person behind the words and the relatability of that single Mom, navigating something she never thought she’d be going through in a million years. Even with the stress and the uncertainty, I’m so fucking glad I’m going through this. I’m even more thankful to have the people in my life that I do right now.

One day I’ll share more on those people, but for now I want to keep them close to my heart.

-A.